Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Truth Behind Flirting?

Do you consider yourself a flirt, if so what type are you? According to a report there are 5 five style’s of flirting:-

Physical: These often develop relationships quickly, have more sexual chemistry and have a greater emotional connection to partners.
Traditional: These believe men should make the first move and women should not pursue men. Both sexes tend to be introverted.
Polite: Less likely to approach a potential partner; aren't flattered by flirting, but do tend to have meaningful relationships.
Sincere: Strong emotional connections and sexual chemistry; relationships are typically meaningful.
Playful: These often flirt with little interest in a long-term romance; find flirting fun and enhancing to self-esteem.

Do people flirt because they see it as a game? Maybe it’s considered a way of being ‘friendly’, a bit of harmless fun? Is it possible for a person to not know their acting a certain way? These questions arose when a friend and I tried to define flirting and why people do it. I've been called a flirt yet I wouldn’t consider myself flirtatious. Of course I can switch the flirtation button on when ready, but I wouldn’t class responding to a guy with a giggle as flirting. I guess this is where problems arise as everyone’s got their own definition of what flirting is.

Flirting isn’t always the overt behaviour people assume i.e. a wink, hand lingering on body parts or holding of the gaze. It’s become a lot more subtle with everyday gestures; throw away comments, come and get me stance, eye movements, responses, body language and weak smile.

There are a number of reasons why people flirt. 
  1. It's what they naturally do (before you start to roll your eyes) it’s true. Some people are naturally flirtatious, overtly friendly what ever you want to call it. Flirting is a part of every day communication; some cultures rely on it more heavily than others.  It becomes second nature. 
  2. Some people flirt due to lack of attention. If you’re not being shown much interest at home, that woman/man complimenting your daily attire can’t help but boost your confidence. If you’re single you may flirt on a daily basis to get noticed. We’re all receptive to compliments even if we don’t receive them well. We’re beaming inside really. Plus you may find yourself a partner in the process.
  3. To see if you’re still desirable. How many times have men/women flirted and it stops right there? Yes there may be an obvious attraction but it never goes any further than flirting and your both single. Some people do it just to see if they’ve still got it. 
  4. Curiosity not necessarily for a new relationship, but just curious about the individual. To see how far this flirting (game) can go without stepping over the boundaries. Flirting "is a way of testing one's mate-value and the possibility of alternatives (Arthur Aaron Proff of Psychology).
  5. Some people flirt out of nervousness especially when in uncomfortable settings.
I assumed that if a guy flirted with me they were interested in dating or were considering the beginning stages of relationship. I couldn't have been more wrong! People can flirt outrageously without intending anything. It doesn’t always mean they want anything from you, their just flirting. Testing the waters, seeing how far they can go. Gauging how open you’re willing to become. Flirting opens a window of potential and the outcome is not a definite yes or no. The sooner you learn this, the better.

Men in committed relationships tend to flirt with me more then the singletons. I always wondered why they felt a need to flirt so often. Not that they’ve took it any further, does this make it right? Is flirting only acceptable when you’re single? Is it a no, no once you walk down the aisle? Is flirting only intentional once you move into the verbal phase? I’ll never know the full ins and outs of flirting as the reasoning behind it is different for each individual. Thoughts! 


  1. I agree with most of your points, but a few need to be discussed further, I will hold a small talk with my partners and maybe I will look for you some suggestion soon.

    Meeting Women Secrets

  2. For singles, you can look into what "YOU" want. If you are not and being responsible for your choice being with someone, you need to see how this may impact your partner. Many men accuse women of being insecure while they are the one who are really insecure. What if you flirt and other become obsessed with you? Unless one is very single and is not in any kind of relationship, they may be lacking empathy.


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