Have you ever wondered why men marry some women and not others? Is it because the couple grew apart? Was the man/woman scared of commitment? Could it be they didn’t have anything in common? I discovered a book by John T Molly ‘Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others’ and the results were interesting. I’m going to cover the findings in a number of posts. This week focuses on the ladies and what we can do to help the process.
According to John women must adhere to the following guidelines in hopes of getting married.
1. Insist on it. If you don’t state what you hope to have early on in the relationship there may be problems down the line. If you’ve insisted that the end result is marriage your partner can’t act surprised because you’ve expressed this desire during the early stages of your relationship. This doesn’t mean you badger / manipulate your partner into marriage but continue to stand your ground.
2. If you find yourself in a dead-end relationship, move on. I couldn’t agree more with this point. Too often we settle in partnerships that leave us unhappy. I know it isn’t always easy to get up and leave but life is way too short to stay in a situation that’s not conducive. People often find themselves in situations where there partner will string them along with no signs of commitment. This is when you need to decide what you really want and whether you want to stay for the ride or jump off at the next exit.
3. Love yourself first. This is crucial because we tend to attract people that are like us. Our ideal partner is often a reflection of ourselves. Hence why we ask what kind of music you like, your beliefs, values etc. We want to know whether they're on the same wave length and if we can trust they will understand us. If you love yourself, you will like the people you naturally meet, and they will like you. If you don't, you'll waste energy trying to get with people who aren't like you, or you will settle for being with someone you don't like.
4. Commit yourself to the idea of getting married. I understand not everyone wants to get married. However for those that do, there needs to be some form of commitment. I have friends that want to get married and I don’t doubt that they will because they’ve been committed to the idea for a long time.
5. Keep in shape, watch your weight, and take care of your appearance. I covered this topic a few months ago . You need to be happy within yourself because when you are you exude confidence. This is a trait that both men and women gravitate too. We all know that appearance plays a huge part in dating and regardless of your size, hair style or clothing if you're happy it will show. Everyone has their own definitions of beauty and thankfully we’re not all attracted to the same person.
6. Time is running out; use time wisely in your search for the marrying man. While talking to my girlfriends it’s apparent that the pressures of settling down are great. While there is only so much a person can do, it’s very important not to settle. While time is against some of us it doesn't mean you have to jump into a relationship that won’t benefit you both in the long run.
Next week we’ll look at the type of men that want to get married.