Due to popular belief society will have us believe that men are dragged down the altar kicking and screaming. Not all men think like this, some have always envisioned marriage and just wanted to wait for the right woman to come along. It could be that sudden light switch moment…ah-hah, I want to marry this woman. It could be a near death experience that pushes him up the aisle. I know a guy that proposed to his girlfriend after falling sick, it seems his illness pushed him to that next level of commitment.Then there’s those that have no desire to ever walk down the aisle.
Here are 5 reasons why some men don’t want to get married….
1. They can get sex without marriage. Society has changed big time and values have dropped. Some women use sex in the hope that it will persuade men to settle down and marry them. With more competition women feel sex is the ticket to get a man. We've all heard the saying ‘why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free’. You've got to think about what you want/ are hoping to gain from a relationship. I know it seems like slim pickings but there are men out there that will stick around without any sex whilst dating. If they don’t and it’s something of importance to you then find a guy that will.
2. They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by living together rather than marrying. I know many couples that live together and it works well for them. It goes back to what you want out of your relationship and the importance of your principles. Some women wouldn’t dream of cohabiting before marriage. Men can get too comfortable with this set up and don’t see a need for marriage if you’re already living a ‘marital life’. If he’s not in that place mentally he won’t be ready for marriage. He may be thinking we already live together, share the car, have children. What’s getting married going to do/ change? Those cohabiting may find that you slide into marriage because it’s the obvious thing to do. Not because you want that next level of commitment. PS If you feel you need to test living together before marriage then maybe it's a sign your not ready for it?
3. You apply too much pressure. A lot of women spend too much time focusing on the nuptials and get carried away with the day itself. Women see commitment as the finish line in their lives. Some of us want to get married and we want to do it ASAP. Exerting pressure on your other half won’t help matters. It just causes headache and will make him resent having certain conversations. This kind of pressure can have the opposite effect and may have your man digging his heels in further. Ideally you would have discussed the issue early on to see whether you share the same values and if marriage is something you BOTH foresee in the future.
4. They fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises. Marriage is full of compromise and commitment like any relationship. It’s not 70/30 but 50/50 in which each half shares equally. Unfortunately some women get a bit of a power trip once the ring is on their finger. For some of us marriage brings a new level of expectations and they can come across indirectly in your words and behavior. Even the way you talk about marriage and the life after can be an indication of what you’re expecting from your partner. No man want's to feel like you’re going to try and change them.
5. They face few social pressures to get married. There’s less pressure on people to get married. The options are limitless allowing people to bide their time before making a decision. Some men feel they can afford to wait for the ‘perfect woman’, concentrate on their careers, save to buy a house or actively play the field.