Tuesday, January 4, 2011

How A Break-Up Affects Men.

For many females loosing a boyfriend hurts emotionally and mentally. I've spent many a night crying into my pillow, asking my friends why? Women hurt but trust me men do too. I always assumed that because he wasn't calling me every day. Or crying down the phone and looking down hearted when I bumped into him that he was fine....WRONG!!!

I've learned that some men have a delay when it comes to break-ups. Females will cry, cry and cry some more. We are getting the emotional heart ache out our system. We are releasing the pain by constantly sharing our experience. It helps that we tend to have a strong network around us, plus the fact that we love to talk. Men on the other hand will try to bury their feelings. They will distract themselves with any and everything. It's not that they don't have anyone to talk too. I just don't think they like to go to that place of discussing how they feel. Some men will sit on their emotions hoping it will go away. By this time women are slowly getting over the mourning process when the man has just started it.

A man's girlfriend is usually his main confidant. Yes he has family and friends but I doubt they will know half the things his woman does. He will lean and confide in her more than he realises. So when she's gone he feels a little lost and has no one to share those feelings with. Plus society has always portrayed that men have to be tough. Cry in public…..oh no. That's a sign of weakness. Another reason I feel that men struggle with their emotions. Men do feel pain they just deal with it differently.

Men tend to get angry and frustrated when a break-up has been initiated by the woman (depending on the reasons). Women tend to prepare themselves mentally for a split weeks if not months before the decision is made. For men it comes as a big shock. Although the lady in his life has probably been talking for weeks about the state of the relationship. They are oblivious to why such a harsh decision has been made. Hence the feeling of betrayal and why it sometimes takes them longer to get over a break-up.

Men like women don't like the hassle of starting again. They've invested all that time and effort into someone and now they've gone. We all get comfortable and like the fact that out other half's know us so well. No more first dates trying to impress each other. No more trying to hide your flaws, acting on your best behaviour. The whole dating and getting to know you process is just as long for men. It gets to a point when they just want to settle down and have someone to come home too. EVERY man wants this at some point in their life.

Just because your ex-boyfriend isn't knocking down your door, professing his undying love for you or dropping flowers off at your work place. The typical cliché scenes that are portrayed everyday in films. It does not mean he's not hurting. It's just as hard for men as it is for women to deal with a break-up.


  1. Yeah of course men hurt too but i just think the hurt is expressed in different ways. Females seems to showcase their feelings more, discuss the hurt, analyse the hurt, pick the hurt, chew the hurt, until it has died a nasty death...lol Whereby guys - unless they were head over heels - keep it moving. They don't seem to dwell unless they were in LOVEEEE!

    Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus, but with the right person, we love each other anyway - that's me rant!

  2. My ex boyfriend didn't seem bothered when he dumped me and jumped into a relationship with a so called friend of mine. I was devasted, bearing in mind this was the guy i had been with for 9 years. He rings me up 6 months later, crying, telling me he loves me and has made a mistake. My thoughts on this now are some men think the grass is greener elsewhere but most of the time it's not greener, just looks that way from a far. It takes them time to realise this and when they do, they hurt but I think its more of a pride thing for them. If only those men spent time watering their own grass!

  3. yeah we have feelings, some are better at controlling them. me and my current break up is tearing me apart, we were together for 8 years and she decides to leave cause she doesn't know how she feels anymore... but constantly seeing me and staying the night ect. sucks, i am trying to move on but can't, it's life though and it's not perfect... i'll make it just didn't wanna lose my partner in crime. she tells me there's a chance, i just don't see it. i cry, i'm a man... it's normal.

  4. Hey, I know this is older article, but nicely put. I very recently went through a break up with the first guy I loved. And its true we women mourn, talk, cry...I dunno what he does...but I wondered about it. Anyway, I'm blogging about the experience in a narrative form, I hope you come by and take a look...its good therapy. :-)

  5. I actually agree with this. Guys don't know how women feel at times and sometimes, they get a little too comfortable in a relationship that they forget to do what it took them to get the woman in the first place. We as women just have to accept the fact that guys don't think like we do unless they're the type who KNOW how to keep a woman. Some guys will act like it doesn't bother them when in reality, it's killing them inside more than the woman. The woman has already prepared herself for the break-up but for them, it's like "i knew it was coming" but they know damn well, they lost something good. That's just life...


Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...