Tuesday, January 18, 2011

When Is It Too Soon To Remarry?

I can't imagine what it feels like to go through a divorce and I pray to God I never have to experience it. When it was announced that Katie Price was separating from her second husband I wasn't the least bit surprised. The pain of divorce must be hitting her hard. Especially as it’s her second time round and she’s yet to deal with the emotions she suffered with Mr Andre. 

I'm not going to divulge my opinion on Miss Price; how she lives her life is up to her. However I will say that underneath that hard persona she is hurting and no doubt embarrassed that her second marriage has ended this way. This leads me onto the title of this post. When is it too soon to remarry?

Statistics show that 50% of first marriages end in divorce. 75% of those divorcees will remarry and at least 60% of those remarriages will end in a re-divorce.

Why was Katie Prices marriage doomed from the get go? Because everyone could see that she remarried way too soon. I believe that Katie is still very much in love with Peter. She tries to deny this vehemently but her actions tell a different story. She is still reeling from her first divorce and hasn't had time to deal with those feelings. She used her new relationship with Alex to mask the pain which resulted in her never settling the ending of her first marriage.

Katie no doubt wanted to feel "loved" again. It's something that we all crave deep down. The security of marriage was appealing to her but she was never ready individually. The relationship wasn't ready because it was still immature. Add a step family to this already weak foundation and things typically will crumble within months. 

Alex and Katie wanted different things and had different opinions on what marriage is/should be. A friend of mine is going through a divorce and he stressed the importance of sharing the same values and knowing yourself before walking down the aisle. I wonder how many similar values Alex and Jordan shared and how well they got to know each other before making such a big commitment. From what I saw on their reality programme/ read in the media I got the sense Katie constantly compared Alex to Peter. Despite the fact they share children together Mr Andre was a constant ghost amongst marriage number two. Can you imagine how much Alex’s ego was continually bruised with comparisons of his wife’s previous husband? 

She didn't have time to reflect on the break down of her first marriage because she jumped straight into a new one. Did she look at her behaviour and how it may impact her future relationships. Even I fail to do this sometimes and I haven't even been married. We need to have a sense of self-awareness to avoid repeating the same mistakes. How many attitudes did Miss Price possibly take into her second marriage that she already had with Peter? 

I've read that you if you’re not in a place where you can be open about your fears and vulnerabilities then your marriage will face a rocky road. I don't think she let her guard down in fear of getting hurt again. She seems like such a tough cookie on screen and I feel she may be like that in real life. I believe that if you can't practice flexibility then you’re not ready for marriage. You need to be open to change and a lot of compromise. I didn't really get a sense of this when I saw the cameras rolling amongst the midst of their relationship.

Remarrying within a year of getting divorced doesn't make sense to me. You need to take the time during that first year to become comfortable with being single again. So that when you do meet your new partner you can take the time to get to know them properly. Add another year on top, all in all that's at least 2 years before you remarry. This gives you enough time to decide if this is just a traditional relationship that's nice for a time but won't last or if it is something you can build a life and a family around. I guess the real importance is not so much the time duration but where you are mentally and emotionally.

These are just my opinions. What are your thoughts?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...