Tuesday, August 7, 2012

5 Signs You're Not Ready To Be In A Relationship


Are you ready to be in a relationship? Some of us feel we’ve gone past the sell by date and are overdue a girl/boyfriend. We hit a certain age and time feels right, I want a ‘real’ relationship.  However wanting a relationship and being ready for one are two different things. It requires a lot of self-evaluation and total honesty on your part. 

Here are 4 reasons you may not be ready for a relationship. 

1. You need a partner to make you happy.
While many won’t admit it there’s a huge population of men and women that feel incomplete without a mate. They feel miserable because they don’t have that special person in their life. Needing someone is not the same as feeling lonely! Your whole life soon revolves around finding someone. Nothing you do will satisfy the urge until you’re settled down. The problem with this is that you’ll come across needy and may form attachments too quickly. If you don’t know what makes you happy as an individual how can you put all that pressure on your partner?

2. You’re not over your ex.
Need I say more? All loose ends need to be tied up before embarking on a new relationship. You need to get rid of any past resentment, hurt and feelings before you start something new. Any unresolved issues will only seep out into your behaviour/actions and into your new relationship. You’ve got to give yourself time to heal first. We often throw ourselves into new  relationship believing it'll be a nice distraction. Rebounds don’t work. You’ll only end up feeling guilty and causing more heartache.

3.You change yourself. 
You shouldn't have to change who you are to be accepted. If you find that you’re trying to change something about yourself to make you more attractive then your probably lacking in confidence and self-esteem. It doesn't always have to resort around physical appearances i.e. he likes tattoos so I’ll get one too. It could be little things, musical preferences, she’s a huge reader but you’re not. 

4. You don’t know what you want.
You’re not sure what needs you want met. You don’t know what you have to offer this person. You don’t even know if you really want a relationship. I can be indecisive at the best of times and can only imagine how frustrating this can be in a relationship. It’s not so bad in relation to trivial things like deciding what to order off the menu. When it comes to more serious matters like starting a family, getting married you need to know what it is you want from life and your other half. 

5. You’re too busy.
Serious relationships require a lot of time and effort. This may sound obvious but you’d be surprised how many people jump into them believing they can ride off emotions without investing time. Being unavailable physically can lead to being unavailable emotionally. This is a recipe for disaster. This is when you have to be honest with yourself and the other commitments you have in your life. 

You need to be in good emotional shape before you can attract the man/ woman you are looking for.

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