Tuesday, February 14, 2012

What's The Fuss About Valentines Day.

I've been previously drawn into the Valentine hype and spent copious amounts of money on what has become a commercialized day. I recall in my early twenties going all out for an ex boyfriend. I brought him an expensive watch, teddy bear, sprinkled rose petals on the living room floor (like a scene from Coming to America) filled out an oversized card with sentimental lines, set the CD on  repeat with a love song by R Kelly and topped it off with a restaurant booking. At the time I felt a great sense of achievement and wanted a gold star for my efforts. I must confess that my actions would be reciprocated……they were not! I learned that my so called BF didn’t do Valentines. Not that you should give to receive.  In hindsight I didn't have to go all out for one day in the year and most importantly it wasn't necessary to spend so much money. I have never made that much effort since as I don’t’ feel a date in the Calendar should determine how I show my love and appreciation for my partner.

Valentines Day holds a different meaning to everyone hence where problems can arise. Some may view it as a chance to boast about their other half's grand gestures? The one day that you can spoil them rotten if you haven’t done so for the rest of the year. While others see it as an opportunity to spend some quality time with their loved ones due to a demanding workload, families, etc.

I think a person has to be really secure within themselves and their relationship to not get swayed by this day. Some people get over excited with the romanticism of it all. They may end up spending above their means. Treating their partners like kings and queens for one day and then reverting to a lack of appreciation. While there’s those that seem to have inherited the romantic gene and use this day to cement what they already have. 

Valentines Day can put immense pressure on couples especially men. How many women are left crushed when their partner doesn't live up to their expectations? They’re left disappointed because they didn't receive so much as a card. What about those in relationships that claim they don’t celebrate the day but secretly hope to be surprised? The key to all of this is to be honest within yourself and your partner. If they wish to celebrate it let them choose how they do it. This doesn’t mean you’ll get what you want but at least there’s a level of understanding and less chance of unmet expectations.  

There's nothing wrong with proving your love for your partner but surely it’s something that should be done 365 days a year.

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