Tuesday, February 28, 2012

6 Signs Your Dating The Wrong Person

We've all encountered that feeling within a relationship where something doesn't quite feel right? It’s been months and you don't seem to be progressing. Every relationship will experience highs and lows but there are a few signs that maybe the person you’re dating isn't right for you. E Harmony published a good article on this subject, below are a few points they mentioned as well as my own.

1. They're abusive. Abuse comes in many forms not just domestic violence. People underestimate the psychological damage of emotional and verbal abuse. If a person isn’t respecting you or your boundaries, constantly belittling you and demonstrating controlling tendencies you may want to asses your relationship. If you find your arguments resort to violence then there's a problem. I understand it’s not easy to just pick up your bags and leave but the first step is awareness that this is not acceptable behaviour.

2. There scared of commitment. You can't really plan for the future with someone’s who’s scared of commitment. Try having a conversation of where you hope to see the relationship in a few months time and you'll probably be greeted with an awkward silence or a change of topic. Dating a commitment phobe will often leave you very frustrated. Some obvious signs are they have a history of short relationships; they'll limit the amount of time they spend with you and treat you as a low priority. Read the signs for what they are, there’s no guarantee that your love and affection will change them.

3. You’re Not Happy. I've been in a relationship where I wasn't happy due to the points above. It becomes draining emotionally and mentally and is there for everyone to see. You can’t fake happiness no matter how much you try. If you’re not happy within your relationship it will have a knock on effect within other areas of your life.

4. Your Instincts Are Calling. Oh how I could have saved myself so much heartache if I'd trusted my intuition a bit more. That little voice inside our head is there for a reason, those doubts your feeling usually mean something. I’m not suggesting you end a relationship but you should definitely take the time to follow your intuition. Find out what it is that’s bothering you and then you’ll have grounds to make a decision. It may end up confirming something good or bad.

5. They String You Along. There’s nothing worse than being strung along. I for one hate not knowing where I stand with a guy. A classic example was with a guy I briefly dated. I'd often suggest things to do and his response would be that he'd let me know *confused face*. Majority of the time I’d be left twiddling my thumbs. Dude, just say if you can't come or don’t want to do something. If you’re in a relationship and are experiencing non committal behaviour then you may want to reevaluate whether it’s worth your time. When a person is stringing you along its anything that makes you feel powerless and out of control while the other person calls the shot.

6. They're cheating. I had to add this point as it frustrates me when men/women turn a blind eye to their partner’s endless infidelity. I understand there's a lot of factor’s including children and self- esteem issues that makes it harder to leave. However my past experiences have shown that the longer you stay and accept this behaviour the harder it is to leave. It destroys trust and the bonding between couples. 

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