Tuesday, September 6, 2011

5 Reasons Why Your Ex Will Come Back

Hands up all those who’ve wanted their ex to come beating down their door once the relationships ended? I hold both hands up high. Is it just a female thing or do men secretly desire this too? I guess it has a lot to do with our ego as everybody likes/wants to feel wanted. Especially if they did wrong by you, there’s that gratifying sense that they want you back. After all the bravado it seems they are hurting too. It’s harder for women to gauge as we will openly express our emotions, some men don’t.

I recall when I split up with my first boyfriend, I was truly devastated. He wasn’t a great partner but I was young and naive at the time and thought he was the love of my life. I recall my friend’s mom vehemently saying that he'll come back…they always come back! In the back of my mind I thought no he won't. Not only is he stubborn but we didn't break up on the best of terms. Surprise, surprise a year and a half later he came back.

I assure you for the most part your ex will come back on the scene. They may not openly say they want you back but I guarantee they’ll reappear. Their words and actions will indirectly say that they want to be around in some form. However the motives behind their sudden return aren’t always clean cut. Is he playing games with me? Does he want to give the relationship another go? I read a great piece on Madame Noire website about exes coming back and decided to add my two pence worth.

1. He misses you
Despite the cause of your split you’ll definitely be missed. We all know the saying you don't know what you've got till it’s gone. Unfortunately some of us take our partner for granted and don't appreciate them as much as we should whilst in a relationship. Once they've left you have time to reflect on the, should a, could a, would as. Sometimes it takes you to leave before your ex partner can recognize whether they can treat you right and enable you both to have the relationship you want and deserve.

2. He knows you’ll take him back.
Your ex knows you better than you think. If I had a pound for every time one of my girlfriends said that they were done with their ex and that they won’t be giving them the time of day again *yawn* I’m guilty of throwing around that statement too. He's lost me for good….blah, blah. All it takes is one phone call, you hear their dulcet tones and you’re back to square one. All that strength you’d found to get yourself back on track goes out the window and your back to an emotional wreck. Not sure whether to consider giving him another chance. When we want things to work we end up believing that this time it will be different. A good friend of mine is convinced people don't change; I'm still undecided. The fact is things seem nice and sweet for the first few months then old habits return and your back where you started.

3. He's Bored.
This is why you must be careful not to jump straight back into the arms of your ex. The reason behind your separation will determine whether you want to give things another go. For this reason you should proceed with caution there's no rush. Don't let familiarity cause you to make any hasty decisions. Your ex may have a selection of people he's entertaining but their not quite cutting it. You’d be surprised how that one phone call spirals into a rendezvous. Don't mistake his boredom for wanting to get back into a serious relationship with you.

4. There’s No One Else Around.
If your ex hasn't found a new beau don't be surprised if your phone starts ringing. It may just be that you’re wanted for intimacy nothing more, nothing less. As I mentioned in point 2 when we're used to peoples traits and once sex is added to the equation it's easy to go back to what you know. No one wants to be alone at the best of times and you may be there to fill the gap until someone new comes along.

5. You've moved on.
Is it just me or do you find your exes always come back once you've moved on, what is that? Not necessarily within a new relationship but you've washed your hands of your ex and have no intentions of getting them dirty again. The love has well and truly gone. The thing is once you've moved on from the heartbreak and state of depression you return to a state of happiness. Your more confident and have learnt from the experience When your ex sees you content and positive it reminds them of the person you were when you first met. Before things got deep and heavy and before nagging Norah emerged. More than likely your ex will be drawn to your renewed confidence and will end up coming back within your radar. Maybe it’s the challenge of wanting what they can’t have?


  1. My ex and I have broken up for some time now, and in that time that we have been broken up we have opened up a business together moved in with each other and even sleep on the same bed. We get into a lot of fights, and she keeps telling me she has no feelings and that we will never be together. We are eachothers back bone and we do all that we can for each other. Our fight recently are getting worse and worse, and we say a lot of nasty stuff to eachother. She has also recently started dating as well. I was wondering will we ever get back with each other?

    1. I've written a response to the above. It will be published tomorrow (17th July) as a blog post.

  2. Very true yesterday was looking back on my previous relatioship. I couldn't find one that never returned. Some l hve lost contact but whenever l go home l get told so and so was come by looking for you.lm guilty to say l have taken all my exes back. Not that l wanted a relationship just that l knew lt was my turn to do the dumping. It might sound spiteful yes but everytime they come back with the intention of trying to prove they have changed blah blah blah. They want to settle down, lm not ready to do that with you. The more you try to convice me the more l get irritated.You don't have to prove anything because when you came back into my life l had forgiven you and mostly l was over you. I was already back in the game dating.

    So the more you try the more l realise for the grace of God l was better off without you single. Seriously l know you have good intentions but don't remind me how much you messed up l well clued up on that and don't make me feel like l just adopted an adult baby. Just be sincere and stop being a jealous freak you are the one who left in the first place. So get a grip.

    I have taken all my exes back maybe thinking the sex is still gud and was l wrong. Taking your ex back isn't a good idea even if you want him back. Just enjoy the satisfaction that he or she wants you back after treating you like crap. Let their wanting you back be an ego booster to you but don't go into a relationship. It is tempting to take them back because the day they dropped you obviously the feelings and the sax was good but it no longer the same. Coz you can sleep with him and realise the sex is no longer as gud. Then when you do the dumping then you are considered the villan forgeting how they prettended you don't exist for the past months ignoring your text, calls ,emails no contact crap. So if you get back with me don't be surprised to find yourself on the chopping block.I'm not saying it ends this way everytime but for me l getting back with them its just a way of finding out if l was really over you.

    So don't worry they always come back just stop calling him he is on his way.


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