Everyone at some stage of their life has snooped through their partners things. Whether it’s flicking through papers on the desk to checking their emails, we've all done it or at least thought about it. It’s the thrill of finding out something new about your partner and with so much technology out there the options are endless.
There are different levels of snooping, from going through a person’s Blackberry/I phone, checking their voicemail to fall out stalking. Snooping however can be detrimental to you, your partner and your relationship because communication breaks down and often the person being snooped on can sense something is off. Trust is clearly broken; once you start you may not be able to stop and it shows a lack of respect for the other person’s privacy.
Snooping generally isn’t good for any relationship although it can save people from further heart ache when dishonesty is involved. I’ve snooped through previous partners things. Sometimes out of sheer curiosity, nosiness what ever you want to call it. Other times my insecurity got the best of me and led to shocking results.
My partner at the time seemed decent and things were going okay. However I guess boredom, familiarity started to kick in and he started getting late night phone calls/ texts…..nuh-uh. I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure men don't have full blown conversations with other men via text. The underlying issue was that something felt off. I expressed my concerns and disapproval to a wall of silence and denial but things didn’t change. One night whilst he was out the room I looked through his phone and found he'd been texting an associate of mine.
Although my snooping was an invasion of his privacy it seemed my intuition was right. Snooping on this occasion saved me further embarrassment and heart ache. I don’t for any second feel that what I did was right and vowed to never do it again. However if I hadn’t snooped I wouldn’t have discovered what had been going on. Our relationship was damaged, communication was way off and clearly I didn’t trust him. I wasn’t confident in what we had. When you snoop you have to get to the root of the problem. You have to be honest with yourself about why you’re doing it.
Sometimes we snoop because we think our partner is being unfaithful, sometimes it’s for other reasons. If you find yourself looking through your partners Facebook messages you probably need to reassess your relationship. Is there a lack of trust or are you insecure about their feelings for you? Snooping avoids real intimacy and being honest enough to share your concerns with your partner. Regardless the reasons snooping is bad news, something I learnt the hard way. Is your desire to snoop really about your partner or issues that your dealing with within yourself. What ever the reason think twice before snooping, most time it’s not worth it and you’ll always find out something you wish you hadn’t.