Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number


Age gaps in relationships have never concerned me. I know several people that are in happy relationships and their partners are significantly older/ younger than them. I guess the issue here isn't really the difference in age but the maturity levels of each party. I read recently that people date people that match their maturity level.

I think the common misconception is that dating someone older means they'll have all their ish together. Yes they will have more experience which can never be a bad thing. However don’t let expectations lead you into a false fantasy. Everyone’s different! Don’t assume that because your partner is older that they’ll necessary want to settle down. Or that they’ll know how to woo you or even want too. Don’t presume they’ll have excellent communication skills and chivalry will be embedded in their brain. I've believed all the above and reality proved that age ‘ain’t nothing but a number’.

I often find myself gearing towards older men and no I’m not looking for that 'father figure' of someone to lean on. Yes their experience, maturity and sensitivity are all strong pulling factors but that’s where it ends. I don’t necessarily need someone to care and guide me. If you opt for younger you may gravitate towards their free spirit, energy and flexibility. Make sure you get into the relationships for the right reasons.

If you do choose to date someone older/ younger be prepared for criticism from society, some family members and friends. They’ll no doubt be horrified and think you’ve lost your mind, or concerned that you’ll get hurt in the long run. If your relationship stands the test of time then those concerns will fade.

You need to be prepared for changes in interests and lifestyles. When lust and romance is gone what do you have left? Things change, your partner may have enjoyed clubbing every night in the beginning but now the novelty’s worn off. They’d rather stay in and catch up on CSI.

If you started dating during your teen years you may outgrow each other. The biggest shift happens in our teens and twenties. What you thought you wanted during your early twenties will change dramatically by the time you hit thirty. You need to constantly communicate your thoughts and feelings.

If the age gap is relatively big you need to consider that illness and death will hit one of you first. Not being morbid just stating the sad truth. You can’t be na├»ve to these things. You have to consider all aspects possible and discuss any impending factors.

I believe if love is real and the relationship is good what has age got to do with it.

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