After completing the second season of Scandal, I couldn't help but write a post on ‘the other women’. I’m fascinated with Fitz and Olivia’s relationship and while they’re not the greatest example due to the political position both characters play, it prompted this post. Fitz is probably one of the few men that would leave his wife for his mistress.
99% of men don’t leave their wives or girlfriends. Those that do and go on to divorce rarely marry the person with whom they’re having the affair. The divorce rate among those who married their lovers is 75%. The statistics say it all. How many films have you watched when the man leaves his wife and kids only to regret his decision and go back on bended knees.
Most people get into affairs as a result of poor values, poor boundaries, a self-seeking attitude, and a slight competitive nature. The other woman wants to feel she is somewhat better than his partner/wife and the only way she can prove it is by winning him over/ stealing him away. Ego is often the driving force!
Being in a relationship with a married man is doomed from the get go. The lover knows this deep down but gets lost in it all. A relationship based on cheating can’t lead to an honest and solid union. Trust will always be a big issue because the values have gone. If he does leave his spouse he won’t trust you because you know he was spoken for. You won’t trust him because he’s cheating on his wife with you and what will stop him doing it to you? Can you see the headache already, and this is only one element of the affair.
The reality is that men rarely leave their partners and the lover wastes years of her life falling in love with a man she can’t have. Just because he’s having sex with you doesn't mean he’s stopped loving his wife. Men often put women into two categories, wife material and bed material. Usually the role of the mistress is to gratify his sexual needs; you’re there because you provide sex, romance and fun. While he may grow feelings for you, you can’t provide what his partner does. If you could he would be with you full time.
Surely this kind of relationship isn't healthy and doesn't fit your goals of marriage, love and family. Save yourself some heartache and stay clear of married men or those already in relationships.