Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Break Up Sex

Break up sex is never a good idea because though it feels good while in the moment, it only delays the moving on process. It’s like continually going back to the source of pain and hoping things will get better. Or in some peoples case the relationship recommences. So many couples go through a vicious cycle of break ups to make ups and it usually starts with sex. Some reunite and try to make the relationship work whilst others make empty promises and mislead one another.

What tends to happen is a bit of time will pass and loneliness sinks in. You can’t be bothered/ don’t want to go through the process of meeting someone new. Familiarity’s great and you ex is only a phone call away. You start to speak more often and eventually decide to meet up. You have a whale of time and meet up again a few weeks later. Next thing you know you’re in bed together. Of course this isn’t the formula for every couple but I predict at least 60% of exes continue to have sex once they’ve split up.

The end of a relationship is like going cold turkey. It requires a lot of will power and wise choices to stop your emotions making hasty decisions. Once your guard is down, vulnerability sets in and this is when we’re likely to make big mistakes. Even if the decision to split was amicable, one person wanted the relationship to continue. I don’t care how convincing they are with regards to casual sex, someone’s lying and will eventually want more. One person will have higher expectations and will no doubt feel used about it all.

Some would argue there’s nothing wrong with it. We’re all adults and have both stated that we’re not in a relationship but someone will want that old thing back. Unfortunately women and men think that having sex will restore the relationship. What started out as a bit of fun (which I can’t see possible when it relates to an act so intimate) is leaving you more distressed than the initial break up. Is there ever a way to keep sex emotion free? I think not. While you’re convincing yourself there’s no strings attached your only complicating things further. With sex arise unresolved issues, promises and a lot of hope.

Continuing to have sex only delays the moving on period. So many people are in denial and feel they can start a new relationship whilst still attached to their ex. It takes time and space to clear your heads without any distractions. Break up sex muddles your emotions, causes confusion and leaves you still emotionally attached. How can you possibly move on mentally/ emotionally if you’re sleeping with your ex?

In reality I know this is easier said than done but I suggest you avoid having sex with your ex!!!

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