There seems to be a recurring theme that men hate dating. I’m certain that everybody has felt uncomfortable with dating at some point in their lives, but I really want to focus on the man dem. I always presumed men who weren't in a committed relationship would embrace their freedom and date until their hearts content. If they enjoy being single and aren't looking for serious commitment then dating is a fun way to meet new people and fill that quiet Friday/ Saturday night time right?
We've all experienced that one uncomfortable question that we didn’t really want to answer on a date. Then there’s the awkward silence….hmmmmmm. The discomfort of not wanting to look at person sitting opposite you and trying to act like your perfectly comfortable with the situation. All of the above will vary depending on how well you know the person and the environment. Here are 5 reasons men don’t enjoy dating….
1. We all have a tendency to be impatient, women in particular. When we reach a certain age feel the pressures of settling down and starting a family becomes immense. Majority of the time we’ve already established that the person we’re dating is someone we’d want to enter a relationship with. We don’t always take the time to get to know someone as best as possible and rush the process. Hence some women attach themselves too quickly to a man who isn’t good for them. This behaviour can be off putting. While some men would jump at this, others may run a mile. Before everyone starts attacking me I know this works both ways. Men get attached too but remember this post is meant to be from a male perspective.
2. It’s taken too seriously. I don’t believe men view dating as acutely as women. We will examine everything he does, things he says, his body language, etc. I feel from the get go we’re wondering does he want a relationship with me? When’s the next date? A man can always tell when a woman wants a relationship. Men go in with a more light hearted approach. The first stages of dating are not that serious! It’s an opportunity to get to know each other better and have fun. No ones talking about marriage just yet. Expectations tend to sneak in time and time again and can indirectly ruin a good occasion.
3. It can work out to be expensive! Now we’re living in modern times where women are open to pay halves, her way what ever. However I’m pretty sure if you’re going to continue initiating the dates there’s going to be some pressure on you to pay. Most men know that women place a high value on how a potential partner treats them from the get go. Where you go, how often you meet and your income stream will determine how costly it becomes. No one likes things done half baked. The guy you’re dating may be at a bad place financially through no fault of his own. Things happen! He’d like to take you out regularly but funds will not permit. Not all men are forthright to confess their financial situation with a woman they don’t know you that well.
4. Men are always expected to initiate (I'll explore this further in a future post). Women are becoming bold and are inclined to ask men out too, but the onus will always be on the man. You were handed that responsibility from day one. Don’t know why that’s just how it goes. Contrary to popular belief not all men are bold enough to ask you out. This is an additional headache to the whole dating process. It doesn't help that there's a stigma attached to women who ask men out. Some females feel that men are getting the pleasure of their time plus a few benefits. Which leads onto my final point.
5. I’m not guaranteed any intimacy. Sorry to be so blunt but this is The Real Talk! Not every person you date is looking for a relationship. Some men want a person they can be intimate with no strings attached. Some women want this too and will style it out by going on a few dates so their not perceived as easy.....it’s true! There aren’t any guarantees that a man will get that level of closeness making the dating process monotonous and a waste of time. I’ve paid for all those meals and not even a kiss? What?!?!?!?
I’m not suggesting that all men hate dating, some women hate it too. Is it because as soon as we hear the word ‘date’ there’s a level of expectancy? Do we feel we have to act a certain way and get into some form of role play? That we can't control the situation and feel we have to guess peoples intentions. Or is it simply that we’re dating the wrong people?