Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Why Do Women Let Themselves Go?

I want to start by saying this post is not set out to bash women. We often get defensive when someone's touched a nerve or spoken an element of truth, I know I do. There we go disclaimers out the way. 

My friend and I were having a discussion about why we as women tend to sometimes let ourselves go. Yes men let themselves go too but I've chosen to focus on...CUE Beyonce 'All the single ladies, all the single ladies....I'm not discussing married women with kids as I haven't experienced either of the above. I'm talking about the singletons, the women in relationships. The women who are still young but don't seem to care anymore. I know there are numerous things vying for your time within a day. Whether it be keeping the house tidy, cooking, work, being a good partner, socializing, making time for family and most importantly making time for yourself. It's hard work as well as time consuming.  It usually starts off as minor things. Leaving the house with chipped nail polish for days on end. The bob that was once cut to precision has now grown out and the ends are all straggly. You used to rock the fiercest colorful clothes and now you dress in black every day and then of course there's the slowing down of the metabolism.

I feel that once some women get into relationships they get comfortable. The scary thing is that you often don't realize its happening. I recall when my ex boyfriend told me that I don't dress as good as I used too. This was his indirect way of saying you don't make as much effort anymore. That comment felt like a hard slap as well as a wake up call. Whilst I got angry and defensive I had to admit that there was an element of truth to what he said. I no longer felt a need to make an effort as he was mine. I felt the weight gaining, I didn't drop it like it was hot anymore. Deep down I wasn't comfortable within myself and this was slowly chipping away at my confidence. I'd fallen into a rut and didn't know how to get out. I'm not implying you dress for your man but do something that'll make you happy. If your happy your man will be happy. 

Lets not forget men are visual and while they'll accept you as you are. They won't forget how you used to look, especially if there's been some drastic changes. Men probably won't admit it but they like their women to maintain themselves. They want to show you off and let the world know how proud they are of you. Unless you've got one of those controlling men with some deep insecurities (no further comment). You can't beat that feeling when you enter the room and all eyes are on you like WOW...who is that? And you don't have to look like a supermodel or have the latest attire to achieve it. Just got to be comfortable in your own skin. I'm sure the same goes for you ladies. How would you feel if your boyfriend let his hair grow out, no longer shaved. Didn't make an effort with his clothes, put on a lot of weight? Be honest with yourself! 

I love wearing jogging pants and headscarves around the house. I also like to throw on a pair of heels and a bright lip stick to show off my feminine side. The little things make such a big difference whether its a bit of mascara, a facial, or buying yourself something nice. Not only will you feel good but he'll appreciate your efforts too. It starts from an inner confidence and if you don't have that it will show on the outside. The key is to find a balance and not let yourself go completely. Sometimes when we feel low or depressed we no longer care about our appearance. This usually pulls you down into a spiral pattern and everything else gets affected. 

I've recently become a member of the 30 club and must confess that whilst I've more or less maintained my weight over the years. I find it hard to stay trim due to my indulgence of all things sweet and my metabolism slowing down. I exercise not only for health reasons but because it makes me feel and look good. This brings me onto the foods us ladies consume. We all know whats good and bad for us yet we still choose to eat rubbish. I too am guilty of this, if its bad I'm eating ALL of it. The truth is you look as good as you feel! I hear many women at work complain about their weight yet they eat the wrong foods and don't fit exercise into their schedules. I repeat I know we all lead busy lives and that work hours are rarely 9-5 anymore but you have to make a decision and make some changes somewhere. Nothing beats the spring in your step when you finish an excruciating workout, leave the hairdressers or put on that dress that fits like a glove. 

If all you've taken from this post is that women must have their face caked with make-up and be a size 10 then you've missed the point. There's nothing wrong with taking a bit of pride in your appearance. Whether your a size 12 or 16 it's all about loving yourself and being the best you can be mentally, physically and emotionally. I think its important to carry on caring for your appearance, to keep your individuality and confidence.  


  1. I am with you - not letting yourself go is not about being a size 10 or an 8 or a 6..it's about being happy in yourself and maintaining your standards. You know, the saddest for me is when a singleton just gives up. I've seen it - they are depressed about a number of situations that they find themselves in do they get into the vicious cycle of comfort eating and not exercising. The thing about comfort eating is that the comfort is only ever short lived...the results aren't...and a very quick way to not feel good about yourself is to have a wardrobe full of beautiful clothes that just don't fit.

  2. I would never "let myself go" and neither would my husband. It is pride or vanity for us both. He is as trim as he was when I married him (eons ago) and I
    am still petite and young-looking. I see these couples with either an obese wife or an obese husband and I tell my husband: "I'd leave you if you looked like that." But, I know he never would let himself go. I recommend listening to a
    Charles Aznavour song "You've Let Yourself Go." It is in English (he is French) and on line. Has a message. I am probably a size 6 and will always remain so.


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