Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Can Open Relationships Work?

Jill Scott’s considering an open relationship according to twitter, the thought alone dissuades me. Open relationships ‘apparently’ work for some couples. However I think I'll decline as it'd leave me paranoid and extremely jealous. Why would I want to share my partner with another woman? I just don't get it.

In the long run I don’t believe open relationships work. Someone's going to form an attachment outside of the marriage/partnership which will inevitably cause problems. I wouldn’t want to hear repeated stories of my partner’s experiences. How this new woman listens intently to his work woes. How she’s more affectionate than me. How they're going to spend a romantic weekend together. This would surely affect even the most strong willed person.

What do people hope to get from open relationships? Is it a case of having your cake and eating it too? I understand there are certain elements/ qualities you can get from that other person but if you’re not happy and desire to have extra activities outside of your relationship why not stay single? I don't think BOTH partners are happy with the idea of an open relationship. I feel it’s more a case of one party pushing the idea and presenting it in a way that seems beneficial to both of you.

I always feel that woman get the short straw as our make up is so different to men. Our emotions can play havoc on the decisions we make. What you thought you could handle in the beginning may turn out to be too much. I’d be extremely jealous if I found out my boyfriend was entertaining an open relationship. Even if I’d agreed to the decision in the beginning the green eyed monster would rear its ugly head. I just couldn’t handle the intimate details and my mind running away with what they may be doing. To know that my man has been so physically intimate with someone and that feelings could potentially be forming is a big problem. Men seem to be able to detach sex from love. Women can't do the same hence why I don't feel we can handle an open relationship in the long run.

Surely all relationships need some form of restrictions/boundaries. This isn't a form of control but a sense of wisdom. Why risk your health by openly sleeping with multiple people. How will it affect people close to you.  Is your partner allowed to condone activities in your home? Surely you need to establish some ground rules to protect what you have and yourself.

Are people choosing open relationships due to a lack of confidence in monogamous relationships? Are people compromising their happiness just to be with someone? Or maybe its easier to run and find excitement some where else than deal with the real issues at hand. Surely if you have a good strong relationship you wouldn't want to have anyone else?

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