Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

4 Excuses Women Make For Men




Why do women perpetually make excuses for men? Is it that we don’t think we’re good enough? It’s been said that how you view yourself correlates with how you let other people treat you. Or maybe you’re scared that the relationship will end so you continue to make excuses. You convince yourself things aren’t that bad and they’ll eventually get better.  I guess acknowledgment would highlight that the relationship isn’t what it seems. Push you into making some changes and seeing that your excuses haven’t helped your partner’s behaviour.

He’s just busy! Oh how I hate this excuse. I used it frequently in the past whilst trying to convince myself that an ex was busy with work commitments. He could go a few days without contacting me and I’d use this reasoning to make myself feel better. The thought that he didn't really care was too much so I pretended things weren't that bad. Too busy should never be an excuse and shouldn't stop you from making a 5 min phone call or even sending a quick text. If he’s too busy how can you possibly have a connection and grow together. I had to face facts; I was never a priority in this man’s life! Boy does the truth hurt but it also set me free! If a man wants you he WILL make time for you.

He needs his space. Yes we all need space from time to time but when your bf is spending more time away than with you, you’ll need to reassess the situation. Maybe you’ve been guilt tripped into thinking that after all his hard work and parenting throughout the week that he deserves a few days out. Surely if he can take a few days out then you can too. I understand time apart is important and I don’t expect you to be joined at the hip every minute but if you find yourself using this excuse a lot you may be sacrificing your happiness.

He’s not a good communicator. How on earth are you going to have a god relationship if your BF doesn’t talk?!?!? I know it takes some people a while to warm up but there comes a point where enough is enough. It’s so exhausting trying to maintain a relationship when your partner shuts down and doesn’t open up about their true feelings. You’ll never know what’s going on inside his mind. Believe me you will not have the element of closeness you crave if your partner doesn't know how to communicate. PS Don’t try and convince yourself that the more open you are, the more open he’ll become. This isn’t tit for tat. I fell down that path and after a few months of being as open as the sea, my man still couldn’t express himself. See ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He’s just not ready yet so I’ll wait. Wait for what exactly? I thought relationships are about compromise. If you want to become exclusive and he still wants to get to know a year later you have a problem. Maybe you feel you should meet each other’s parents but he seems resistant. You want to get married and he said you’d get round to it next year but your still waiting 3 years later. You can’t force people to do things but making excuses for them won’t help either. Relationships are about compromise and if you find you’re doing everything to keep him happy your probably sacrificing your own.

In the long run you’ll get tired of making excuses for him. You’ll end up always doing what he wants which will result in your BF becoming too comfortable and complacent within the relationship. Continually making excuses wont' benefit him. It just enables him to continue certain behaviors which he knows are wrong. He may think that if you truly cared about him, you would let him know when he made a mistake. So women stop making excuses for your man!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others Part 3



I’m continuing with the topic, why men marry some women and not others. Last week I looked at what kind of man falls into the marrying kind category. This week’s focus is on first impressions and why they're important. What goes through a man’s mind when he lays eyes on you because he’ll definitely be thinking something? It doesn’t mean he automatically fancies you but he will be weighing up whether he finds you attractive, likes your smile, shoes, is intrigued by what you have to say or doesn’t like you at all.


Men are attracted to the physical but marry character. That’s right ladies it's your character that will promote you to wifey status. What does your personality say about you? Do you have a stank attitude? Does it hurt every muscle in your face to smile? Are you family orientated? Are you a miserable person to be around? Men will secretly observe how you carry yourself. 

Physical attraction plays a large part in relationships/ marriage. It’s not the B all and end all but it is significant. You may be compatible on several levels but without physical attraction you won’t notice each other. I’m not suggesting your partner has to look like a model but there needs to be some form of attraction. Sex is important within marriage and if you don’t find your partner attractive then surely this will go on to affect your sex life?

In a survey couples were asked if physical attraction matters. While most women agreed that the emotional connection is way more important than the physical, but nonetheless physical attraction matters. For men, the need for physical compatibility is very high. 

John’s research found that : Newly engaged men said that what attracted them to their fiancées was how classy, positive, energetic, enthusiastic, and upbeat their future wives were.  

While 68% gave a physical description of their fiancée, only 20% said that what attracted them was how gorgeous and sexy their fiancée was. Over 60% described their personalities, even if the women in question were very beautiful. 

Ladies dress appropriately! This sends out the message, “I am wife material.” Men marry women they perceive as “situational virgins” who move easily in their world.  I confess as a teenager I dressed provocatively whilst clubbing. I felt the more skin on show the more attention I’d get (for the wrong reasons). I had low self-esteem and hid my lack of confidence by dressing in an overtly sexy manner. While this may bag you a man I can’t guarantee it will keep him.
  
Research also showed that men view scanty outfits as an invitation to sex. They decide within 10 minutes of meeting a woman if she’s appropriate for marriage, or just for a casual affair. You can be sexy and classy at the same time. It leaves a lasting impression and your outfit can’t be misconstrued if it’s got a touch of class. 

Thoughts….
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