We've all encountered that feeling within
a relationship where something doesn't quite feel right? It’s been months
and you don't seem to be progressing. Every relationship will
experience highs and lows but there are a few signs that maybe the
person you’re dating isn't right for you. E Harmony published a good article on this subject, below are a few points they mentioned as well as my own.
1. They're abusive. Abuse comes in many
forms not just domestic violence. People underestimate the psychological damage
of emotional and verbal abuse. If a person isn’t respecting you or
your boundaries, constantly belittling you and demonstrating
controlling tendencies you may want to asses your relationship. If you find
your arguments resort to violence then there's a problem. I
understand it’s not easy to just pick up your bags and leave but the first
step is awareness that this is not acceptable behaviour.
2. There scared of commitment. You can't
really plan for the future with someone’s who’s scared of commitment. Try
having a conversation of where you hope to see the relationship in a few months
time and you'll probably be greeted with an awkward silence or a change of
topic. Dating a commitment phobe will often leave you very frustrated. Some
obvious signs are they have a history of short relationships; they'll
limit the amount of time they spend with you and treat you as a
low priority. Read the signs for what they are, there’s no guarantee that
your love and affection will change them.
3. You’re Not Happy. I've been in a
relationship where I wasn't happy due to the points above. It becomes
draining emotionally and mentally and is there for everyone to see. You can’t
fake happiness no matter how much you try. If you’re not happy within your
relationship it will have a knock on effect within other areas of your life.
4. Your Instincts Are Calling. Oh
how I could have saved myself so much heartache if I'd trusted my
intuition a bit more. That little voice inside our head is there for a reason,
those doubts your feeling usually mean something. I’m not suggesting you end a
relationship but you should definitely take the time to follow your intuition.
Find out what it is that’s bothering you and then you’ll have grounds to make a
decision. It may end up confirming something good or bad.
5. They String You Along. There’s nothing
worse than being strung along. I for one hate not knowing where I stand with a
guy. A classic example was with a guy I briefly dated. I'd often suggest things
to do and his response would be that he'd let me know *confused face*. Majority
of the time I’d be left twiddling my thumbs. Dude, just say if you can't come
or don’t want to do something. If you’re in a relationship and are experiencing
non committal behaviour then you may want to reevaluate whether it’s worth your
time. When a person is stringing you along its anything that makes you feel
powerless and out of control while the other person calls the shot.
6. They're cheating. I had to add this
point as it frustrates me when men/women turn a blind eye to their partner’s
endless infidelity. I understand there's a lot of factor’s including children
and self- esteem issues that makes it harder to leave. However my past
experiences have shown that the longer you stay and accept this behaviour the
harder it is to leave. It destroys trust and the bonding between couples.
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